“Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.”

And so were the words of President Bush to Michael Brown on September 5th, 2005 while touring storm damaged areas in Mississippi. Brownie did such a great job that he was forced to clean out his desk a few days later.
My suspicion was confirmed when I read some internal emails from Brownie posted on CNN.com.
Some gems:

Marty Bhamonde: “I know that you know the situation is past critical. Thousands [are] gathering in the streets without food or water. Many will die within hours.”
Brownie replies: “Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?”
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Brownie: “I’m trapped now. Please rescue me.”
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Brownie: “If you’ll look at my lovely FEMA attire, you’ll really vomit. I am a fashion god.”
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Brownie: “Are you proud of me? Can I quit now? Can I go home?”

And then there’s this strange one:

Brownie (to his press secretary): “Tie or not for tonight? Button down blue shirt?”

Wow. I never knew the head of FEMA actually needed fashion help with a news conference.
It made front page of Fark.com and Metafilter.
I guess the reason why he wasn’t much help in Katrina is because there were no Arabian Horses to judge. Nope. They must have all drowned in the floods.
With nicknames like Brownie and Scooter, its no wonder anyone can’t but be compelled to take them seriously. But I digress.
Reminds me of other stupid quotes about Hurricane Katrina.
The moral of the story is never ever write anything in an email that you wouldn’t want posted on CNN.com, especially if you’re a high profile government employee.
And by the way, I’m looking forward to sitting on Trent Lott’s porch.