“I don’t care.” Those words are said most often these days. I remember earlier this week I mentioned in an email to a friend that I’d probably go work retail when my unemployment runs out in October. I ended the email with “I don’t care.” Mostly to show my frustration and hopelessness in the job situation.
Those 3 words prompted my friend to email me back almost immediately and then later on get online and ask me what’s up via instant messenger. He thought it was going to be one of those ABC Afterschool Specials. Don’t worry. I told him that I was just in a bad mood when I wrote the email and was just venting.
I remember being in 5th grade and the phrase “I don’t care” had become quite popular in class. We always had a ton of homework. That phrase expressed our frustration back then too. Pretty soon our teaching chastised us for using the phrase. I remember her saying “Don’t use that phrase,” and told us to change our attitude.
I also remember those 3 words being used in a recent movie: “The River Wild.” In the movie, 2 bank robbers kidnap a family and force them to take them down a whitewater river. The part of the movie which seems to echo in my own mind is when one of the kidnappers is talking to Roarke, the young son. The kidnapper was still trying to be friends with Roarke. He said he didn’t want to be mean to him and that he was just doing following orders from the other kidnapper. (This after attempting to kill his dog and threatening his family) Roarke looked straight at the kidnapper and with a cold dark stare said “I don’t care.”
I think we’ve all had that happen before. Someone egregiously wrongs you, then the next day that person turns around and acts like nothing is wrong.
I still care. It’s just sometimes I get down and discouraged like anyone else. With this endless year of job searching and getting nowhere, I might have helped change some lives. There is a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment there. You see, if I’m not making a difference, then I might as well pack up and go home. It’s not ego driven. It’s more of self-worth. Accomplishments, ya know?