It was the first time I had been inside a Catholic church. Today at Okotoberfest in Nashville. One of the oldest Catholic churches in Nashville. Ornate. Iconic. Catholics are all into that stained glass at things like that. Plus there were knelling benches attached to the pews. Huge paintings of Jesus on one side, and Mary on the other side. I’ve always scratched my head wondering why the Catholics tend to raise Mary to God-like status.
I guess it is important for them to have beautiful churches. Whereas I had always been taught that souls were more important than beautiful church buildings. The church buildings I know are ordinary and unimportant.

Good words to live by:
“For nothing is impossible with God.”
Luke 1:37.
I saw it on a kid’s Sunday school lesson today. I’m trying to remember it. Always.

“If you have faith….nothing shall be impossible for you.”
Matthew 17:20
“If God be for us, who can be against us?”
Romans 8:31
“I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”
Philippians 4:13

I never really understood taking communion at weddings. I’ve been to 2 weddings which had that. From what I understand about communion is that it is meant for the entire congregation, not just the wedding party. Subsequently when I saw “holy communion” in the wedding order, I thought to myself, “Am I going to have to take communion at the wedding?” Or more likely “How am I going to gently refrain from taking communion at the wedding without looking like a jerk?” But it’s just the bride and groom, so everything was cool, at least on my end.
I guess some people put emphasis on communion at different times. For some people it’s at weddings and easter. For other people it’s just on Sundays and nowhere else.

A funny thing happened at church today. At the end of the invitation song a black man stood up in his pew. He started going on and on about how his family had spend $400 on car repairs while attending a wedding in Memphis. They were on their way back to North Carolina. Somehow he was getting around to asking us for money. I didn’t really listen to much of what he said. Mostly I had my head buried in my hands wishing he would stop. It was an alkward situation. And I hate alkward situations.
Today’s sermon was “The Second Greatest Command,” and it was most appropriate to give him money. However the conservative in me says that this guy it taking us for a scam. He arrived late in the sermon (as if he had already been to another church asking for money to get back home).
At worst, he scammed individual members out of several hundred dollars. At best he left with a good feeling about the church and Christians in general. You never could completely verify this guy’s story. I wish it had been in a different context.

If I did decide to go to another church, would the church webpage die a slow and painful death? It’s my baby and I would be sad to abandon it. Yet, somehow I’m just not satisfied at MJ anymore. Maybe my dissatisfaction is temporary. It happens every year at this time. After returning from camp, where I’m the most popular counselor at camp…then going back to church where I’m somewhat looked down upon, even at times threatened because I express an opinion…. Other times I’m known as Tommy and Sandra’s son, not my own person. Makes me wonder. Why can’t things be better?
I could potentially start anew at another church. This is something I must consider if I am truly going to be happy. It will be difficult and painful if I go through with it. This could be a good time to start. VBS is coming up, so there will be some down time in my Wednesday night class. I’m on the Lord’s Table this month, so I’d need to call about that too.

I have relistened to the tape of my sermon tonight. Just about 15 minutes worth. Maybe less than that. I tend to have had a bunch of “and umm…”‘s in it.
I really have thought about being a part time preacher. Maybe just preaching at rural congregations on occasion. I admire excellent preachers who are able to spread the word effectively. I may never become one of them. I have gotten past my nervousness and apprehension when speaking in front of people. However listening to the tape just makes me wonder if this is even cut out for me. Aspirations and ability are two different things.

So I preached at Scottsville tonight. Mission trip report. And I think I did a good job. I have an audio tape of the experience, so I can relive the experience and try to determine within my own mind if I really did a good job, or if people are just giving me lip service.
I can tell you that standing in front of my Bible class each week has given me a chance not to be scared to speak in front of people. Writing on this blog has helped to, for whatever weird wacky purpose that serves. Being able to articulate ideas in written form, crosses over into spoken form. I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t know what happened. It certainly wasn’t my Fundamentals of Speech class at Lipscomb. We’re all forced to take that class. I made an A in it, but only because I had an easy teacher.
I really do think teaching has helped me become a better speaker. I’m not entirely discounting the idea of preaching occasionally at small rural congregations. I think it would give me a purpose in life. I think I could potentially do some good around there. The problem for me is trying to find things to preach on. El Salvador mission trip reports are good, but that doesn’t last long. I would tend to run out of stories to tell. I guess that’s probably a real problem with preachers all around the world.
Jumping over barriers in life is just part of the ways and means of growing out of it. I used to be that scared kid in elementary school, too afraid to tell his teacher that he needed to go the restroom, or that I didn’t understand how to do that math problem. It happens sometimes. You either grow out of it, or you wither away in some type of bland existence, never really comfortable around people. I’m glad I’ve accomplished it. I’ve broken down barriers made up by myself and did what I needed to do. My worst enemy is myself. Only Jeff Whittle can tell me whether or not I can do something. I can accomplish alot if I only decide to believe in myself.

It is amazing how many good sermons I’ve preached to myself while lying in bed late at night. I can come up with the best analogies. The most eloquent spoken words. The best sermons ever. To myself.
I do give my El Salvador trip report in Scottsville tomorrow. I hope it goes well. You never know. I could flub it up forever. But I think ever since I’ve started teaching, I’m more and more comfortable up in front of people. At ease if you will.
My problem is self confidence. I need to be constantly be told that I did a good job. And if I’m not told that, I will ask “How did I do?” for you to give your honest answer. Needing to be constantly told that I did ok is a flaw in me. I really should feel good about myself. To not let anyone tell me otherwise. Unfortunately I do let people get to me. I do let minor flaws get in my way of serving God to the best of my ability.
Shrug it off. I know I’m better than that. I’m much better than what I ever give myself credit for. I know I’ve accomplished alot in just a few short years. Look to the future where much more work needs to be done. And the only way I can accomplish it, is to be confident in myself.

I stopped basing my religious beliefs on man’s beliefs a long time ago. Instead I’d rather have book, chapter, and verse. Unless you can provide that to me, then all of your opinions on religious matters are just that: opinions. Which hold very little water around here. I’ve had too many people and their beliefs fail me.
I realize that I might be turning into those annoying people who exclaim “book, chapter, verse” whenever someone comes up with a new idea. However I think it is more retro for me. There are plenty of things which people in my religious background tend to do, which are tradition. Some are good traditions, but some are just holding us back from truly fulfilling God’s purpose.
There are some things in life which I really wish the Bible was more specific about. I really want to know why the Bible is so silent on some difficult issues that we face all the time. Should we not worry about this? Is grace going to cover my ignorance? I certainly hope not. But if there is something I should be doing, that I’m not doing, someone please tell me.
Potentially no one will. I don’t claim to hold a monopoly on salvation, and neither should you.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man’s all.
Ecclesiastes 12:13