What to say about good friends? Over the next several days I’ll be visiting friends Mark and Megan in Kansas. I’ve known them for several years. We’ve had some memorable times. And they’ve got me through some difficult times simply by being there, showing their love and listening. I count friendship as not something that is expected, but earned. Friendship is a precious thing and it shouldn’t be taken for granted. Thank you Mark and Megan for being there. I look forward to making more memories over the next several days.

A friend and I were discussing friendships tonight. We both agreed that I can be incredibilty difficult to become close friends with me. It could take years for me to be completely trusting of a friend. I have many aquaintances; and few friends – the latter by my choosing. I have difficulty with holding grudges once I’ve been wronged. I would like to overcome this problem as there are people in my life which I should have a better relationship with.
Some people are comfortable with a large number of friends. I’ve seen people on Facebook with 1,000+ friends. In the back of my mind I’m thinking there is no way these people know all of their Facebook friends, much less try to keep up with all of them. I think it’s a self esteem thing or something. Somewhat justifying their importance to Facebook.
Maybe this trip will change things for me. A better understanding of how the world works and how friendships are made and kept. I’m not necessarily looking for more friends, as I’m comfortable with a few close friends and many acquaintances.

I have come to the conclusion that those who are deemed popular, either by themselves, or those around them, have the power to cherry pick their friends. I have seen it occur way too often.
An outing is planned. Everything is setup. Invitations are sent out. RSVP’s are posted. Then others are excluded for whatever reason or another. The reason behind the exclusion? Membership in a exclusive club? Popularity? It’s hurtful.
And so what I’ve seen is that the popular people who think they have the power to pick their friends. There is always someone who thinks they are higher up on the totem pole than you are. And then again there are those lower than you who honestly you’d rather not hang out with. The conclusion? The only way a friendship will work out is if both parties see themselves as equals.
And friendship is prolonged in a twofold reasoning.

• Trust. Each must build up trust in their own mind, either perceived or real. Once trust is broken, for me, it’s highly unlikely to be regained. Forgiveness can be gained, but the original friendship may never be like it once was. During a moment of particularly nasty falling out, it took me a while to figure out that I don’t have to be friends with people who have failed my trust. Forgiveness and friendship are two separate things and must be treated as such.
• Communication. Many many times I’ve lost touch with friends since either myself or them fail to communicate. With the advent of email, instant messaging, social networking, those of my generation don’t have much excuse for not communicating. Now poor communication can be attibruted to apathy, laziness, or general poor planning. It can be very aggrivating, especially when one friend moves away, and puts communication on the backburner.

Today we buried my Aunt Evelyn, age 70. While I was growing up, she was one of those relatives which I’d see once a year. Not that her death is any less painful to those around her, it’s just I didn’t know her as well as other aunts and uncles.
I found out some stories about her. She was truly one of those who cared for the weak and unwanted. When her granddaughter was caught up in the bad life and couldn’t care for her two sons, Evelyn took in her great-grandsons. At her age she should have been enjoying retirement. Instead she was battling reoccuring tumors and raising two great-grandchildren. Those two boys probably would have been put in state custody if Evelyn had not stepped in and said that she would care for them. It was a story I hadn’t expected to learn at this funeral. I regret that I did not know her better. At the funeral I found that she was truly loved and appreciated. She was somebody’s aunt, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, great-great-grandmother, and friend.
Evelyn married at age 15, while my dad was merely 5 years old. Her sons and daughters were slightly younger than my dad and his younger siblings. In turn Evelyn’s grandchildren were my age. There is a whole branch of relatives on that side of the family tree that I have never known, not because I choose not to know them, but because there are so many it is difficult to keep up.
Evelyn reminded me of my grandmother. She spoke similar to her and had the same mannerism. With her death takes away a part of my memories of my Granny. While watching the photo DVD at the visitation, memories of my Granny and Granddaddy were brought back. And I realized how much I miss them. They passed when I was in college and working at my first job respectively, a mere 10 years ago, but it seems just like yesterday. I wonder how it would have been now if they were still alive. Would they be proud of how I turned out? Would they love their great-grandchildren as much as they cared for me and my sister? The answer, of course, is yes. No doubt.
Even at my worst, my grandparents still adored me. Always first to give me an encouraging word. Always the proudest of their grandchildren. What would they think today? I can hear my Granddaddy exclaming that I had gotten myself a “Doodlebug” (i.e. VW Beetle), as he always referred to my dad’s 1972 Super Beetle.
Growing up it was my Granny who babysat my sister and me, while my parents were working during the day. She took in no pay. Merely being around her grandchildren was reward enough. And she rewarded us with trips to McDonald’s in her blue Chevy Impala…one which I could barely see over the dashboard.
During her later years she suffered. I could tell it must have been the beginning of the end when my Granddaddy passed. Granny soon followed just a few years later.
If your grandparents are still alive, visit them. Cherish the moments you have with them.

This is an email my friend sent me who just moved to Chicago. He was raised in the south, but has lived all over including LA, Arizona, and China.

Hey everyone, I hope all of you are doing well. I just thought I’d check in on my lunch break and give an account of how things have gone so far.
Day one, I arrived uneventfully to a nice, sunny day — about 60 degrees outside. “This cold weather thing is overrated” I thought to myself, as I took off my jacket and headed into the rental car office. I proceeded to get settled into the new apartment and await my first day of work, with the temperature progressively dropping each day. By Tuesday it was downright FREEZING outside as I headed into the grocery store. I emerged 45 minutes later to find a 1/4 inch thick sheet of ice on the road. I made the 1/2 mile trip back to my place with lots of unintentional swerving and turning. Not one to panic I figured the army of 1 million snow plows (that Corey and Kent had vividly described to me when telling me snow wasn’t a big deal up North) were all waiting to swarm the streets and meet it head on.
The first sign that something was wrong was when my regularly scheduled TV program was interrupted to bring a severe snow storm alert. Hmm, I thought, Corey and Kent had said that upcoming snow barely even gets a mention during the news. I awoke the next morning to 6 inches of snow. I trudged out into the cold and chiseled, shoveled (with a dust pan), and scraped my way into the car, and cautiously drove to work, taking an extra 30 minutes to get here. Okay, not so bad, I thought as snow continued falling. I went about my day at work, but then at about 3 pm the “white noise” makers suddenly stopped, leaving us all in an eerie silence. Then a voice piped in over the loudspeaker … due to inclement weather, home office is closing.”
Not being one to argue with home office about inclement weather, I rushed to my car, where I proceeded to once again chisel, scrape and dig my way into my car and pulled out of my parking spot. I then sat there inexplicably for 30 minutes in a line of cars and didn’t move an inch. (not one inch) Realizing I may go through a tank of gas just sitting in the parking lot, I pulled back in and waited it out for a couple of hours inside. Then went back out, chiseled, scraped, and dug my way to my car and joined the line of cars going home. This time it took nearly an hour to get home, across ice, snow and sludge, but somehow I made it back alive and settled in for the night.
This morning when I woke up, 12 more inches of snow had fallen during the night, putting the total now at 1.5 – 2 feet of snow in two days. By this time it was lucky that I remembered where I parked, otherwise I would not have known which car shaped snow pile belonged to me. I went out and chiseled, scraped and dug my car out and began the trip back to work. I’d like to think I catch on to things quickly, but keep in mind that on the third day of work, it’s nice to still be able to see the road signs along the way telling you which lane is a turning lane, or for that matter be able to see if you’re driving on the road or in someone’s yard. Luckily the good people of Chicago set me straight with a friendly tap of the horn and then they’d point me in the right direction. (For some reason people point with the middle finger in Chicago.)
But once again I averted disaster I made the trip to work. This time about an hour and 15 minutes. I’m now sitting here at my desk thinking over a cost/benefit analysis report of why we should move home office to Nashville. I’ll turn that in to Ed Liddy next time I see him. By the way, did I mention it’s still snowing outside? Take care….

Since I’m not blogging all that much anymore, I thought I’d share with you some friends’ blogs which I read periodically.
Zack Bennett
Brad Denton
Todd Burka
Scott Burka
Josh Hunter
Jesse Taylor
Dennis Hennen
There. So that should keep you busy for a while.

Right now I’m having flashbacks of when a young friend of mine passed away. That was 2 years ago. Cancer too. Its not fair. Seems to strike the brightest individuals at such a young age. Now I’m dealing with death again. Someone lost their mother today. I’m really not sure of the right words to say in times like these. More or less that I’m here for you if you need to talk. I’m definitely not a grief counselor. But I’m a good listener.

If you could somehow imagine a vastness of farmland in the middle of nowheresville. That’s what its like in Fountain Run, KY. The Scottsville hayride was yesterday. I arrived in just enough time to load up on the wagon to go down to the wiener road area.
It was good to see everyone. It’s sorta a reunion of sorts. Even people who don’t necessarily go to church at Scottsville regularly were there. 3 wagons were needed for everyone. It was sorta different this year in that they were having it on Sunday night rather than Saturday.
The scare factor was there. John, Daniel, and Brian put on a good show. Rented a large stuffed bat to hang from the trees. $125 if it is damaged. My job was to lower it and raise it when the hayriders arrived on the way back. Chainsaw without the chain. Strobe lights. Generators to supply the strobelight power.
John tells me that they have Mexicans working on their farm. They supply them with a trailer and a house. Probably earning some cash to send back home. It’s almost as if it is subtle slavery all over again. Or at least that’s how John put it.
I always go through Lafayette to get to Fountain Run. At least for this hayride. Lafeyette has no red lights…at least in the downtown area. Just two 4 way stops. Right beside the Super Walmart and the combination KFC/Long John Silvers. Co-branding, they call it. MJ has a KFC/Taco Bell. All of this from Yum! brands.

Dry Fork is in the middle of nowheresville. Somewhere in between Tompkinsville and Glasgow. That’s all I know. The church there has a go go gadget pulpit. With themostat and lightswitch enhancements. I wasn’t expecting a Swiss army type pulpit. Anytime you want to adjust the temp, you have to run up to the pulpit change the switch IN FRONT of the preacher. After that I was expecting to see the pulpit turn into a miniature helicopter.
Johnny K. was preaching. That’s why I drove 2 hours up there. Saw some old friends. And some old friends’ relatives. What better way to visit churches I’ve been meaning to visit after a while…than to visit during a Gospel Meeting where visitors are expected. Otherwise it would just very strange to drive all that way for a regular service.
You know, I have driven more often on 31E and 109 late at night than any other street seemingly. And the drive back from Dry Fork was extra interesting. I was expecting to see a deer jump out in front of me. No deer but plenty of fog. Barely passed any cars until I started getting close to Scottsville. It was a strange drive. Glad I didn’t break down or else I would have had to wake up the farmhands.

Mark’s friend from California was in town so we decided to show him the metropolis of Nashville. We had trouble finding tourist sites which were open:
Went to the Tennessee State Museum…CLOSED (on Mondays).
Went to the State Capitol…House and Senate Chambers were CLOSED due to renovation.
We did make it over to the Bicentennial Mall. There’s just not much to that. I wish there had been more opportunities to get to the obvious tourist destinations. Call it state funding shortfalls for the closure on Mondays. Yet they are still renovating House and Senate chambers. What are they spending their money on? It is state fair season this week and I would have hoped that they would have put on a pretty face on the state stuff in the capitol. Not just close it turning away potential tourists.
State Fair? It’s fair. Nothing terribly exciting there. We saw the racing pigs and ducks. Only in Tennessee, y’all.
The hypnotist? She tried. That’s all I can say. I guess if you were really concentrating you could be hypnotized. But unless you want it to happen to you, then don’t bother.
Saw some wrestling at the fair. Watching it convinced me that without a doubt this stuff is fixed. It’s a male soap opera. They even had plants in the crowd to egg on the wrestlers. It was just sad to see. It is sad that this phenomenon has progressed to the magnitude that it is. Sad that this “sport” is discussed at length on the internet on discussion boards similar to the schoolyard argument of “my pro wrestler can beat up your pro wrestler.”
Still I wonder how the Wilson County Fair can be so much better than the state fair. More free stuff? Never been. But I have been to the state fair 3 times now.