Something was said to me tonight that made me think “Am I really being a bum for not having a job by now?” Or is the economy so bad, that many many people are unemployeed? It’s not like I am being a bum….sleeping in ’til 10. Actually I am staying busy. As I said before I’ve got this project going with the church computers. And just this past week I helped a friend get his business website up and going. So things are keeping me busy. Even though I may not necessarily be getting paid for all of it.
Part of me says that I can’t see myself doing the old cubicle job again. I’d much rather get out of the office instead of staring at a screen all day. Everyone is telling me to start my own webdesign business. But I figure webpage design is pretty fickle anyways. Sooner or later people are going to figure out how to make up a simple webpage. So I can’t put much stock into that career choice.
I’m feeling confused, frustrated, worthless, overqualified, and discouraged at times. Not one single interview. Not one legitament callback from a real life employeer. What am I doing wrong?
And do I care what people think of me?

This was on the side of the road near my home today. Yes, that’s 4 cars. What is funny is that they just ran off the road. A straight road. Must have happened Sunday night during the snow storm. Southerners can’t drive in the snow.
My friend Mark got a job. All State. So he won’t be moving to San Francisco or China anytime soon. And I was thinking he wanted to leave town.
So maybe there’s hope for me yet. Mark has been looking for a job since May.
Todd tells me Jungle Juice is hard to find these days. I was going to use it as a object lesson in the next devotional I give. “Reach For Something Good” is not just a fruit juice slogan these days. It’s a way of life. So if I give this devo, I guess I’ll have to search for it. Reaching for something good is always hard to find. Maybe I need to call my contact at Purity Dairies, makers of Jungle Juice.

The Lipscomb Underground has been redesigned. Great. I was beginning to wonder why the activity there had stopped suddenly.
The Lipscomb Underground is pretty much an email discussion list which was started while I was at Lipscomb. It gave students an opportunity to gripe about chapel, classes, tuition, and everything else about Lipscomb. Seemlingly nothing has changed much in the 5 years I’ve been gone. They’re still griping about the same things.
The Russians Planned to Revive their Space Shuttle as reported in June 2001. Did you know they had a Space Shuttle? Neither did I.
Notradamus did not predict the Columbia Shuttle Disaster. If you get something in your inbox about it, don’t spread the hoax.
Montgomery Gentry’s reference to “Church of Christ” in their song “My Town” doesn’t mean anything special. (as reported in their FAQ)

“Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of His great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.”
Isaiah 40:26

President Bush quoted that verse in his speech today. He’s cool like that. Rarely did I hear Clinton quote the Bible. Yet, Bush seems to do it frequently, or give a “Goodnight and God Bless America,” at the end of his speeches.
NASA has given much more news conferences than in 1986. They seem to want to keep the public informed with information everyone already knows. Those news conferences put me to sleep.

“Back off man, I’m a scientist”
–Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters, 1984

A friend of mine in Houston didn’t find out about this disaster until 3PM today. Watching pre-recorded Tivo stuff all day. Not bothering to turn on the news. Not logging on. You can live in a vacuum at times.
Anyways it’s sinking in. I’m not sure if this will be a landmark moment in my life. I mean it seems so small compared to September 11th. Yet on January 28, 1986, we all watched in awe as the same thing happened. That was a landmark moment in my young life. Things go wrong.

“Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.”
–John Bender, The Breakfast Club, 1985

So I’m not sure if I will remember this year after year. Like the way some Brits remember Diana’s death. Yes, it is a tragedy. Yes, we should try to find out what went wrong and make sure it doesn’t happen again. I just don’t know how much it has affected me as a person. It will take years looking back to see if this was a landmark moment or just a roadbump in the road of life.
Yes, I do try to connect 80s movie quotes to national tragedies.

McDonald’s Happy Meal isn’t so Happy Anymore. An interesting fact from the story: McDonald’s has signed a 10 year deal with Disney that prohibits it from using toys from its competitors.

“You have to prove to me that you’re happy or you’re not getting anything. A Happy Meal is veal shank, German potato salad and a side of lime Jello.”
–David Letterman, while working the drive thru window at McDonald’s.

Happy meals have been around just about as long as I’ve been around (1976). I remember getting that cardboard box with the smaller than normal hamburger and fries. Quick and easy. Just say “Happy Meal” and you knew exactly what you were getting. Then things got complicated. “Chicken McNuggets Happy Meals.” Take away the cardboard boxes for the environmentalists’ sake. Now kids get a boring white lunch bag for their Happy Meal.
Still, over the years the Happy Meal toys got more and more sophisticated. Used to it was a boring eraser dinosaur. Now the toys are seemingly more expensive than the meal itself.
McDonald’s itself has gradually gotten worse. I only eat there when I’m in China. Otherwise I avoid the restaurant like a plaid suit. There’s this distinctive smell when you enter a McDonald’s. It pretty much stays with you the whole day.
What can McDonald’s do to become profitable? Serve better food. Plain and simple. I’d much rather get a Wendy’s Single than a Hamburger at Mickey D’s. Their Big ‘N Tasty is a slight improvement, however they’ve got a long way to go.
Chuck Ross has a website – www.chuckross.org Chuck is Lipscomb’s #1 fan. Showed up at all the basketball games. I never really understood it myself. To each his own.
The website says “Nashville’s #1 Fan.” I’d tend to argue with that. If he really was Nashville’s #1 fan, he’d be at all the games…Belmont, Trevecca, TSU, Vandy, Titans, Predators, etc… He’s Lipscomb’s #1 fan, but not Nashville’s #1 fan. I’m surprised that they are writing a book about him. Seems like there would be little interest for it outside of the Lipscomb athletic community.
Scott has posted a journal entry about his 2nd trip to try out for the Bluecoats Drum and Bugle Corps.

Maybe I’ve been too negative lately. So I guess it’s time to post something more positive.
So here is what I’m happy about.
I’m grateful for good friends who listen to me when I have problems. I’m grateful for people who tell me they’re praying that I’ll get a job soon. I’ve had some lifelong friends since elementary school. We’re just as good friends now as what we were back then.
I love God. I don’t want to come across as some kind of Jesus freak. But I do love God. God gives me a 2nd chance. God loves me unconditionally. I fail sometimes. But He’s always there to redeem me.
I enjoy working with kids at church. Nothing is better than to feel like you are making a difference in a young person’s life. Sometimes I like to think that I am (even though deep down in my heart I know I probably am not making a difference). It’s a false dream I have, but it always makes me feel better about myself.
I enjoy summer camp. Last summer I went to 4 summer camps…and made friends at each and every one of them. Surrounding myself with friends is how I make it through life. I’ve made some lifelong friends at these camps. And through one camp which I started going to in 1991, I’ve enventually have greatly expanded my circle of friends.
So I feel like I’m making a difference. I guess the kids like me. They seem to take my advice.
I’m grateful to be living in the greatest nation on earth, in the greatest part of the nation on earth….where the cost of living is not outrageous and hometown values are still common place. I’m grateful for freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and a free government. I’m glad to be able to participate in election and town hall meetings.
I like the internet. Keeps me in the loop of things. Information is at my fingertips. No longer do we have to sit and wait until the next Snowbird Report. Just go to Channel 4’s website and find out. Information is fast and easily reported.
It helps when trying to keep in touch with people. In some circumstances those who don’t use email or instant messengers have fallen off the face of the earth in terms of communication. It’s getting to where you have to have a computer with netaccess these days.
I like pizza. Pizza with lots of cheese and tomato sauce. I like sausage pizza. That’s my favorite. I like it fast and still hot when you get home. I’m glad Bellecino’s has opened a store in Hermitage. Theirs is one of the best pizzas at a reasonable price.
I try to be nice to retail workers. Personally I think everyone in their life should work retail or fast food just to see how the other half lives. I usually try to tell them to have a nice day as I check out. It certainly isn’t my place to be hateful toward the Kmart sporting goods associate since I was once one myself.
In other news…
Time Magazine Mentions Hartsville, TN, in a recent article about a Nuclear Plant.
Super Bowl predictor suggests another down year for the stock market.
It snowed yesterday evening, just as we were getting out from church. Tried to go home via the usual way, but found that the traffic was too bad to try to wait in line to go down a hill. We went an alternate way…the way my bus took to school when I was in Junior High. I had by doubts about this particular road, but we made it home ok.
All the schools in the area are closed, as with a good reason. The streets outside of my house are frosted over and slick. They’ll probably be closed tomorrow too.
A friend of mine tells me that if there are too many snow days, they’ll go to school for 2 hours on Saturday. Supposedly they can count that as a school day. However I’m not sure what someone can learn during 2 hours on a Saturday.

Today I went to apply for unemployement benefits. How depressing! There was some guy in there who was moaning about how his company had reconsolidated and he had gotten the axe. Everyone has a sob story. No one really cares unless it happens to you or someone you know. Otherwise I’m sure the receptionist had heard all the sob stories. She didn’t need to hear another one. So I kept my mouth shut much of the time.
After I filled out all the paperwork, it was on to see a unemployement counselor. After filling out her part of my forms, she went through her rehearsed spiel about what I should do next. It was kinda like hearing the spiel airline stewardesses do at the bigging of the flight. She had obviously said it hundreds of times. Maybe there should be some website available to do this online, rather than waste some state worker’s time with this. Maybe there is a website which I don’t know about…
Is it in my best interest to tell someone I don’t like how situations are handled, over fear of not being asked back on certain activities? Is it in my best interest to keep a very public weblog showing my dislike for certain situations? I don’t try to stir up trouble. But when I see injustice, it bothers me tremendously.
I guess what is troubling me is seeing the proverbial wart on someone I respected at one time. It needs to be corrected. I’m looking for explainations, and not trying to condemn anyone.
I find myself hoping the Titans won’t win the next playoff game. Last time the Titans went to the Superbowl, I saw alot of silliness. I’d like to avoid this absurdity in the future. As you can guess, I’m not a football fan. Never have been, never will. I found it slightly amusing that last Saturday some people stopped skiing (which they had paid $100 to do) to watch a Titans game (something they could have done anytime). See what I mean by silliness? It is truly amazing how much emphasis we put on sports.
Anything that draws me away from God is a bad thing. We can safely assume that some people who normally would go to Sunday evening church services, will not be there on Super Bowl Sunday, especially if our beloved Titans squeak out another win against Oakland this weekend. Putting God first should happen 365 days a year. No exceptions on Super Bowl Sunday.
Not meaning to beat a dead horse, but I noticed this quote from that Tennessean article about the gun enthusiast minister: “…he had been known to borrow the church’s welding torch to work on his guns.” Since when does a church have a welding torch?

We have a kid (actually probably a few kids) at church who are classified as ADD. They need extra attention at times. They crave attention. Unfortunately their annoying behavior tends make people not want to be around them…which is the exact opposite of what they want.
Many times society is too hasty to place 3 letter acronymns on kids, they don’t realize that (gasp!) in fact their child’s misbehavior could be the result of bad parenting. “Don’t blame my child, he’s ADD!” I’m on the opinion that some kids need a good beating every once and a while. Time out? Being Grounded? Those might be ok at times. But spankings do work.
We never had ADD or ADHD when I was growing up. That’s not to say that it doesn’t exist. It does exist. But I think now we are too hasty to label the kids with some disorder, which takes the burden of discipline off of the parents. We dope them up with ritalin and at the same time let them play the action packed video games which tend to magnify the problem. Am I totally off base here? Why has the classification of ADD skyrocketed over the past few years?
(And please note: I’m using the word “beating” in tongue and cheek mode here. I’m not advocating child abuse.)

The movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” is traditionally shown during the Christmas holidays. Perhaps this post belonged nearer toward Christmas and not New Years. But then again, New Year’s is a time to reflect back and see what you’ve done for the past year. And they do play Auld Lang Syne at the end.
In the story, George Bailey confronts his personal demons and wonders aloud what life would have been like if he wasn’t ever born. The angel Clarence grants his wish and plays tour guide to such a reality. Even before Zemeckis gave us “Back to the Future” without George McFly, there our own George Bailey was, staring at the alternate reality he wished upon himself.
While I am not even going to tempt fate by proclaiming “I wish I had never been born,” I do wonder aloud how much difference I make in everyday life. Thinking back on it, here is a list of things which I feel I might make a difference.

• The Church Webpage. I spend a huge amount of time on this. It’s probably the most elaborate church webpage that no one knows about. I attempt to try to pull in traffic to it by requesting the URL be printed on official church documents. I’ve even tried to involve the church leaders and staff in giving me constructive criticism of the page. Yet to no avail. Sometimes I wonder if I was to step outside and get hit by a bus, who would take up the webpage job where I left off? Maybe no one. Somehow someone would forget about it; forget to renew the domain; and then let the church webpage die a slow painful death.
• Jeff Whittle, your company’s computer guy (That’s an SNL reference if case you didn’t get it). Yeah, people call on me when their computer goes haywire. Sometimes they invite me over. Sometimes they pay me for my time. Sometimes I’m able to help. Many times I’m not able to. I do realize these people are grateful for having an egghead around. But yet the tasks are so menial, I feel like they could have learned it on their own without my help.
• Church Youth Activities – camps, retreats, Sunday School teacher….. This is the other big church thing I find myself doing year after year. If there’s a camp, retreat, or any other activity, I’m usually involved with it in some form or another. I do at least 2 camps per summer. At least 2 retreats per year. And teach Wednesday nights at church. I have dreams of setting young people on the right path and keeping them there. One of my fervent desires is to have a young person wake me up in the middle of the night at a camp or retreat and engage me in serious spiritual discussion. Are they saved? Do they need to be saved? Maybe even getting to know a young person well enough for them to ask me to baptize them. Yet this kind of serious discussion rarely happens even to the best youth ministers.

So what’s the answer to this question? Are any of these activities making a difference? Most likely none of the above. Computer questions would still get answered; Youth activities would still happen since there is always plenty of help for them; and webpage design would still happen, even new alternate design if a shell of what it was.
So what am I getting at exactly? I don’t really know. On the subject of actually making a difference in this world….something I very earnestly try for….I feel as though I am not in a position to make a difference. I’m always last to know about things. Not in the loop. If I was an important person in everyone’s life then I’d be first to know.
What keeps me going? Maybe its the way some kids are drawn to me. Case in point. Yesterday I visited at one of the churches I attend church camp with. I arrived early and sat in a pew by myself. As the starting time of services drew nearer the young people arrived. Even without a second thought, there were 10 kids on that same row with me, practically smothering me. I actually thought about moving to a different pew since I like my personal space.
Yeah, I’ve been told “Jeff, you are cool.” Or to have kids get excited once they find out I’m their counselor at camp. Maybe I let them get away with too many pranks. I don’t know. I really need to ask them why I’m so likeable, so I can continue doing it.
It’s good to be admired. Looked up to.
So now I present for your amusement and for my future reference, my New Year’s Resolutions:

• Live each day as a gift from God.
• Make a difference in the life of a young person.
• Never take life for granted. Enjoy the simple things. A sunset, a sunrise.

Who is linking to me? Here’s a list of pages which I know are linking to this site:

• Scott Burka’s list of links
• Brian Dyer’s Links.
• Mark’s List of Links
• Melissa’s List of Links
• Jason’s Webpage
• Dave Halliwill’s Home Page

So more than likely you are reading this because you know me or because you know people who know me.
Remember when MTV played more than 10 videos? Not anymore.
Interesting story of lost and found items at Florida amusement parks.