Radio Shack Stops Asking for Customers’ Information. I’ve avoided Radio Shack simply because I don’t enjoy being interrogated by the staff wanting to know my full name and address when I’m buying batteries with cash. The Shack rarely has what I need whether its printer cables, null modems, or CDRs….
Sign of the Times: Paoli Peaks’ website has gone to all-flash. I prefer HTML myself since not everyone is able or willing to do Flash. Many times companies fail to realize this.
The reason why I checked out their webpage is because the church is going there again on Jan. 10-12, 2003. Just once I’d love to go elsewhere like North Carolina or West Virginia for skiing. But the powers that be won’t even consider it.
Looking over their trailmap, I see not much has changed since last year. Still promissing to build that extra ski lift….which has been listed as a future plan in their brochures for forever.

I continue to stay busy even though I am out of work. I’ve got a couple of websites in development….one volunteer work…one paid. And I’m also putting together a youth pictorial directory for church. So I’m not just sitting around all day doing nothing. I’d go crazy if I didn’t do anything.
Nothing worth writing about….

Here is a list of books for the accelerated reader list at West Wilson Middle School (local middle school). It’s got everything on there from picture books about dirt bikes to “Gone with the Wind”. What was sorta surprising is that they’ve got some books on there like Stephen King’s “The Stand.” I’ve read a few Stephen King books before and there is some bad language in them. Doesn’t it seem odd that a school would almost officially endorse a book with alot of bad language in it while at the same time giving kids write-offs for saying bad language? Yeah, some kids could handle the language in these books. But it is sending mixed messages to kids. “Don’t watch the R rated movie, but you can read the screenplay.”
There will be no Friday Five tomorrow. The person who makes up the questions is on vacation. Maybe I should make up my own.

I felt sure they’d play Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler” at the pro-lottery victory party. But I haven’t heard it at all lately.
The job fair was ok. Alot of employeers were looking to fill specific positions which I didn’t qualify for. Still, it was good to get out and meet some HR people. Who knows? Maybe something will come from it. My friend remarked that it was kinda strange to see people who weren’t dressed up….who seemingly wandered in off the street….trying to make a good impression at the job fair. Both of us agreed that we probably had an advantage over the rest of the people, just by dressing professionally.

The job search has gone into a rut. I didn’t do anything in the realm of job searching for the later part of this week. I have exhausted all of my 1st person contacts. Would blind calls to HR departments get me a job? I didn’t think so. Why even bother anymore? I should be able to get a job based on my experience and the content of my character. I hate kissing butt in order to get the job. Job hunting is a game. Some people are very good at schmoozing. I’m not. Looking for non-existant jobs is getting me nowhere.
At times I do tend to find excuses to go up to church during the week, if only to have human interaction during the day. A couple of times I’ve gone out to eat with Phil Waggoner, our youth minister, and have found that he’s good guy. Out of all of our youth ministers, he is probably the one who I’ve had the most in common with. John Thomas and I were on different channels – personality clash. Joey Davis….well let’s not go there. Bill Speight was my own youth minister when I was in high school, yet since I have been out of high school we lost touch. He moved to Chattanooga which made it even impossible to keep in touch.
Phil tells me to keep my head up; to have a good attitude. My general nature is to be negative toward life. I enjoy the Gen-X inspired songs of the early 90s. “Jeremy” by Pearl Jam; “I Hate My Generation” by Cracker; “Creep” by Radiohead – at times they’re all anthems for me.
In retrospect I’d say life is precious and I shouldn’t waste it. If it were to suddenly end, that would be it. Nothing to view from afar; just end. I can’t afford that. At times I do get depressed. That’s when I tell myself there’s still plenty of work to do around here. Being a mentor to kids. Paying attention to them when they ask you questions, or just asking how their day was. Trying my best to teach them something somehow. Being nice to an old person. Updating church webpages. Making sermon tapes for shut-ins. Smiling more often. A recent title to a rock album was “Learning How to Smile.” At times I am still learning how to smile. You can’t fake it, like some people do in job interviews. To be genuinely happy is to feel good about oneself. For me it is to make a difference. If I am not making a difference, then I might as well pack up and go home.

Due to a comment left on my webpage, I felt as though I should address the issue of sex ed. It was during a 5th & 6th grade Bible class when a kid asked “What’s a virgin?” due to a certain parable we were discussing. It was an honest question. I’m sure this particular kid had no clue as to what the term meant. This particular Bible class was not the time nor the place for this type of discussion. I’m sure some parents would have been upset if we had gotten into discussing sex in this class.
The very reason why we have sex ed classes in schools and school uniforms is because parents don’t want to do their job of raising their kids. School uniforms were brought about because kids were wearing outrageous clothing to school. This clothing distracted everyone’s attention. Everyone’s attention except the kid’s parents. Parents turned a blind eye to, or didn’t care what their kid was wearing to school. Finally the school board felt they had to step in and implement a school uniform policy. A small minority of delinquent parents ruined it for everyone.
Sex education in schools was the same way. I think it is pretty much universal in the 8th grade. I vagely remember briefly discussing sex in health class in 9th grade. But this generation’s sex ed class is much more involved. Much more time is devoted to it in school. Sex ed was put into schools because parents refused to teach their children about sex. At one point when couples have kids, they make a point to take part in their kids lives. During the very early years growing up, the son or daughter thinks their parents are their heroes. During the elementary or middle school years something happens and the kids don’t want to be associated with their parents. They think their parents are “uncool.” If parents are unwilling or unable to teach their kid about sex, then they should rely on a trusted friend, minister, or mentor to teach the kid about sex. You cannot and should not rely on schools to teach YOUR morals to YOUR kids.
Now we are relying on the school board to do the parenting for us. What is missing from the sex ed classes is the option of abstinence. Schools see this doctrine as a religious issue. They don’t feel as though asking teens to remain abstinent is being realistic. I however feel that there are teens out there with enough self control to remain abstinent until marriage. If you impliment good parenting early on, then kids will be more likely to follow your direction.
Looking back on it, I do feel it would probably been appropriate to tell the kid to ask their parents what a virgin was. The fact that the parable refers to them as virgins is not really important to the parable. The author could have used “young maidens” and gotten the point across.
Kinda reminds me how entire sermons are preached on the Biblical symbolism of circumcision, without actually discussing what the term actually means. It was in high school before I actually understood what it meant.
In other news….
OJ isn’t 100 sure he did not murder his wife Simpson Quote: “For years I’ve been pretty sure that I did not murder my wife, but if Johnnie [Cochran]�s not 100 percent sure, I�m like, hey, maybe I better take another look at this.�
(This article could be satricial, but I haven’t determined this yet).
At one time, Snapple had a flavor called Bali Blast.

“And the cruel, cruel mornings
Have turned to days of swim or sink.”
–Son Volt – “Drown”
“But if I can’t swim after forty days
and my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up – when I’m falling
Lift me up – I’m weak and I’m dying
Lift me up – I need you to hold me
Lift me up – Keep me from drowning again.”
–Jars of Clay – “Flood”
It is sink or swim time. I try to make sure I send out at least one resume or make one phone call each weekday in regard to jobs. So it won’t be like I’m sitting around doing nothing. Apart from a couple of headhunters, no one has called me back. It’s very frustrating.
While calling contacts for jobs last night, I made a major snafu. I called when there had been a death in the extended family. Somehow my job situation seemed all that more meager….less important. My contact said it was ok to talk about jobs, so we did. It was pretty awkward during that time.
It will be an all California World Series – SF Giants vs. the Anaheim Angels. This will make the World Series about as interesting at the Subway Series of 2000 (Mets vs. the Yankees) or the Bay Series of 1989 (Giants vs. the A’s)….of which only an earthquake could bring excitement to. At least in some World Series, you can cheer for the team which is geographically close to you. But California vs. California is about as interesting as watching paint dry. Maybe I would cheer for the Angels since they are the newcomers. But like I said before, Anaheim doesn’t deserve a baseball team. Call ’em the Los Angeles Angels, but don’t try to put some type of significance on Anaheim.
Being the one who checks the church email, I get all types of letters. Today I got one of those 419 Nigerian scam letters. I’ve received numerous of these scams over the past few years. Basically the receipiant is urged to give the sender their bank account number in order to transfer a huge amount of money to them. I am convinced there is a special eternal punishment reserved for those who try to scam churches.

I’ve spent several hours on the phone this week training my replacement. It’s been a crash course in call collector operation and our data reporting and collecting. There is no way I could possibly impart this knowledge so quickly. My replacement is in Ottawa, so showing someone over the phone has been tedious. I am positive my former manager didn’t have a clue as to what I did, which is why he got rid of me. I am disappointed in it, but I suspect that Nortel is a dying company, so it is best I got out now. Their stock is down to 48 cents a share. Although I’d be concerned about my friends who still have jobs with Nortel, I don’t think I would shed a tear if Nortel went under.
My feeling right now are a mix of apathy and hopelessness. Not a single call for an interview. I’ve received a couple of call backs from headhunters. But other than that I got nothing. I’ve been told not to loose hope, to continue to try to find a job. But sometimes I ask myself why bother anymore. It’s going to take the economy turning around in order for me find a decent job. It could be years before I find one.

I have a feeling I’ll be without a job for quite sometime. All those well-meaning people who told me “Jeff, you’ll have no problem getting a new job” were all wrong. In any case I don’t care anymore. I’m not worried about it either. I’ll keep applying for positions, keep writing letters, and making phone calls. If a position is available then that’s fine, otherwise I don’t care.
So right now it’s not depression….it’s apathy. I hate searching for jobs. I hate filling out job applications and begging people for help. I hate the whole process.

Tropical Storm Isidore is drenching us with non-stop rain. Took me 90 minutes to get to Brentwood this morning. One hour getting back home.
To be honest with you I don’t know if I will ever get a job anytime soon. I learned networking options today in class. Seems so vast and like a shot in the dark. I need to take a step back and try to digest it all. My last job fell right into my lap. I don’t think I’ll be so lucky this time. I try to keep a positive outlook outwardly on things. But deep down inside I am disappointed, hurt, and lost.
No matter who you are and what you do, there will always be someone who does things better than you. You just have to accept it and move on.