We spoke at length about forgiveness and reconciliation today during our Bible study this morning.
It only takes one person to forgive and move on. It doesn’t require a second party, yet the transaction is complete once that 2nd person accepts the forgiveness, which helps toward reconclilation.
One thing that I had never studied much was reconcliation…somewhat of a starting over in a relationship sense. Reconciliation occurs when both parties work toward mutual goodwill. Someone in class described it as “refriending.” Reconciliation requires two people, whereas forgiveness can happen with just one person.
And yet I have to ask myself if God will hold me accountable if I choose to forgive but not continue with a relationship with the person who wronged me. “Relationship” in this sense is more or less a close friendship which is much more of relationship compared to the sterile casual business relationship. Does forgiveness require a reconciled relationship? I hope not, but somehow I feel guilty for not allowing those who have hurt me in my life anymore.
What I’ve found that it is much easier to forgive those in the world rather than fellow Christians. You almost expect bad things to happen to you when dealing with non-Christians. But fellow Christians purposely hurting you is supposed to be unheardof. It has happened to me in the past and is bound to happen to me again. Because of this, lately I’m apprehensive about building trust with people. I don’t let people become too close to me for fear of being let down.
We have a tendency to put requirements on forgiveness? On down the road we tend to ask ourselves if that person has truly changed. Typically we have a tendency to end or limit relationships when we see that the person who wronged us has gone back to their old ways.