I’ll admit it. My faith could be stronger these days. My faith has been tested by depression, personality issues with fellow Christians, and a growing disillusion with what truly should be important in God’s work and what is propped up in false/implied importance.
Somehow I decided to write something down as if somehow verbalizing in a non-verbal sense will be able to make ideas tangible and make it easier to find a solution.
What it boils down to is arrogance. I see arrogance so frequently among Christians, it’s almost expected. The church is made up of humans and somehow we see leaven/bad apples/control freaks within the body of Christ.
Arrogance among Christ’s followers is nothing new. We may think that the Biblical episode of the disciples arguing “Who is the greatest?” (Mk 9:33-35, Mt 18:1-4, Lk 9:43-48) as being juvenile, however we do this all the time in the Lord’s church!
This smacks in the face of Christianity where one is supposed to be humble! Sometimes others get caught up in trying to make themselves look good, they forget to be humble where God is given the glory. This disillusionment has left me bitter and looking for some place where love can be found.
I haven’t given up on God, however at times I feel like giving up on His followers.