So I preached at Scottsville tonight. Mission trip report. And I think I did a good job. I have an audio tape of the experience, so I can relive the experience and try to determine within my own mind if I really did a good job, or if people are just giving me lip service.
I can tell you that standing in front of my Bible class each week has given me a chance not to be scared to speak in front of people. Writing on this blog has helped to, for whatever weird wacky purpose that serves. Being able to articulate ideas in written form, crosses over into spoken form. I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t know what happened. It certainly wasn’t my Fundamentals of Speech class at Lipscomb. We’re all forced to take that class. I made an A in it, but only because I had an easy teacher.
I really do think teaching has helped me become a better speaker. I’m not entirely discounting the idea of preaching occasionally at small rural congregations. I think it would give me a purpose in life. I think I could potentially do some good around there. The problem for me is trying to find things to preach on. El Salvador mission trip reports are good, but that doesn’t last long. I would tend to run out of stories to tell. I guess that’s probably a real problem with preachers all around the world.
Jumping over barriers in life is just part of the ways and means of growing out of it. I used to be that scared kid in elementary school, too afraid to tell his teacher that he needed to go the restroom, or that I didn’t understand how to do that math problem. It happens sometimes. You either grow out of it, or you wither away in some type of bland existence, never really comfortable around people. I’m glad I’ve accomplished it. I’ve broken down barriers made up by myself and did what I needed to do. My worst enemy is myself. Only Jeff Whittle can tell me whether or not I can do something. I can accomplish alot if I only decide to believe in myself.

It is amazing how many good sermons I’ve preached to myself while lying in bed late at night. I can come up with the best analogies. The most eloquent spoken words. The best sermons ever. To myself.
I do give my El Salvador trip report in Scottsville tomorrow. I hope it goes well. You never know. I could flub it up forever. But I think ever since I’ve started teaching, I’m more and more comfortable up in front of people. At ease if you will.
My problem is self confidence. I need to be constantly be told that I did a good job. And if I’m not told that, I will ask “How did I do?” for you to give your honest answer. Needing to be constantly told that I did ok is a flaw in me. I really should feel good about myself. To not let anyone tell me otherwise. Unfortunately I do let people get to me. I do let minor flaws get in my way of serving God to the best of my ability.
Shrug it off. I know I’m better than that. I’m much better than what I ever give myself credit for. I know I’ve accomplished alot in just a few short years. Look to the future where much more work needs to be done. And the only way I can accomplish it, is to be confident in myself.

I stopped basing my religious beliefs on man’s beliefs a long time ago. Instead I’d rather have book, chapter, and verse. Unless you can provide that to me, then all of your opinions on religious matters are just that: opinions. Which hold very little water around here. I’ve had too many people and their beliefs fail me.
I realize that I might be turning into those annoying people who exclaim “book, chapter, verse” whenever someone comes up with a new idea. However I think it is more retro for me. There are plenty of things which people in my religious background tend to do, which are tradition. Some are good traditions, but some are just holding us back from truly fulfilling God’s purpose.
There are some things in life which I really wish the Bible was more specific about. I really want to know why the Bible is so silent on some difficult issues that we face all the time. Should we not worry about this? Is grace going to cover my ignorance? I certainly hope not. But if there is something I should be doing, that I’m not doing, someone please tell me.
Potentially no one will. I don’t claim to hold a monopoly on salvation, and neither should you.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man’s all.
Ecclesiastes 12:13

I don’t do church webpages for other churches. That’s it. I would have problems promoting church webpages which contained doctrine that I didn’t agree with. I’m not out here trying to go through some type of manifesto for doctrines. I am just doing stuff that I feel comfortable doing. And if I see doctrine I don’t agree with, it would be hypocritical for me to promote my church’s doctrine in my Bible class, but promote a different doctrine within my web work. It’s just something I have to do. I have principles, even though many people might not understand it.
I had to turn a friend down on his webpage the other day. I didn’t feel comfortable doing it, but I would have been even more uncomfortable doing it in a prolonged type way. I’m not sure if he understood. After all, he’s probably thinking Christianity is Christianity. Or is it?